Here's the promo from Beck's web site:
We Surround Them FRIDAY!
March 13th on FOX News 5pm ET
Do you watch the direction that America is being taken in and feel too much progress is being made?
Do you believe that your voice isn't loud enough to drown out everyone else anymore?
Do you read the headlines every day and wish you knew what all the words meant?
If so, then you probably listen to Glenn Beck. The truth is that you are part of a shrinking minority. But the good news is that you and people like you are better armed. There is an us and a them - but we've got them surrounded.
So, how do we show America that we're not going down without a fight? Below are nine simple principles. If you believe in at least seven of them, then we have something in common. I urge you to read the instructions at the end for how to help make your voice heard.
The Nine Principles
1. America can do no wrong.
2. I believe in God and He hates everyone that scares me.
3. I must always try to be richer tomorrow than I was yesterday.
4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not those child welfare sons of bitches.
5. If you break the law, you deserve the death penalty. Justice is blind, except to money and race.
6. I have a right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, but no one else does unless I say so.
7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with no one. If I don't have enough, the citizens of northeastern states will subsidize me.
8. It is not unAmerican for me to pray for the assassination of Barack Hussein Obama.
9. I do not answer to the government, the government answers to me and my prejudices, at gunpoint if necessary - and it's necessary.
You Are Not Alone
If you agree with at least seven of those principles, then you are not alone. Please send a digital version of your picture to: firstname.lastname@example.org and then stay tuned to the radio and television shows over the coming weeks to see how we intend to gun down the rest of America. How do you make your voice heard? By boosting Glenn Beck's ratings. Rush ain't the only sick fuck in need of an audience.
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Lampoon aside, this "We Surround Them" thing is fucking scary.