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THEY SURROUND US - the wertz generation
the scourge of complacency
Glenn Beck is apparently peeved that Fox News is no longer setting national policy - at least, not as overtly as it used to. So he's doing something about it, goddammit. In what sounds like a prelude to Mussolini's March on Rome, he is attempting to organize the sort of ignorant saps who put George W Bush in office with a campaign unnervingly entitled "We Surround Them". It is being launched in a broadcast on Fox News tonight, accompanied by a nationwide series of meet-ups.

Here's the promo from Beck's web site:

We Surround Them FRIDAY!

We Surround Them - The Unveiling
March 13th on FOX News 5pm ET

Do you watch the direction that America is being taken in and feel too much progress is being made?

Do you believe that your voice isn't loud enough to drown out everyone else anymore?

Do you read the headlines every day and wish you knew what all the words meant?

If so, then you probably listen to Glenn Beck. The truth is that you are part of a shrinking minority. But the good news is that you and people like you are better armed. There is an us and a them - but we've got them surrounded.

So, how do we show America that we're not going down without a fight? Below are nine simple principles. If you believe in at least seven of them, then we have something in common. I urge you to read the instructions at the end for how to help make your voice heard.

The Nine Principles

1. America can do no wrong.

2. I believe in God and He hates everyone that scares me.

3. I must always try to be richer tomorrow than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not those child welfare sons of bitches.

5. If you break the law, you deserve the death penalty. Justice is blind, except to money and race.

6. I have a right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, but no one else does unless I say so.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with no one. If I don't have enough, the citizens of northeastern states will subsidize me.

8. It is not unAmerican for me to pray for the assassination of Barack Hussein Obama.

9. I do not answer to the government, the government answers to me and my prejudices, at gunpoint if necessary - and it's necessary.

You Are Not Alone

If you agree with at least seven of those principles, then you are not alone. Please send a digital version of your picture to: wesurroundthem@fauxnews.com and then stay tuned to the radio and television shows over the coming weeks to see how we intend to gun down the rest of America. How do you make your voice heard? By boosting Glenn Beck's ratings. Rush ain't the only sick fuck in need of an audience.

Picture updates...

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By submitting your picture you are granting us a license to publicly humiliate you by posting it at glennbeck.com.

Lampoon aside, this "We Surround Them" thing is fucking scary.

Tags: , , , ,
humour: worried uneasy

12 others have so why not generate commentary
zuma From: zuma Date: March 13th, 2009 10:08 am (UTC) (link)

links needed for attribution etc

wertz From: wertz Date: March 13th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC) (link)

Re: links needed for attribution etc

The actual Beck web page is here. The rest is me (except the "picture updates", which were random Googled images).
zuma From: zuma Date: March 13th, 2009 12:16 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: links needed for attribution etc


i didn't know where his lunacy left off and the lampoon began.

as furiously as the flames of the hate market are being fanned, i take hope it's a sign that that market is drying up (well, slowly beginning to at least), what with limbaugh teetering a bit himself now and all.

inversely, check this out.

wertz From: wertz Date: March 13th, 2009 12:30 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: links needed for attribution etc

Yeah, I wasn't even sure if people would realize it was a lampoon, which is why I added that last sentence. Thanks for the link (and the diary)! Sounds like Ritze has grabbed a piece of the elephant...
zuma From: zuma Date: March 13th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC) (link)

the agonist

he did indeed.
i had high hopes for that local weekly paper -it seemed sober and bright at first.


i'm actually more into the tin foil hat brigade crowd than i exercise on the agonist, but it's a good site. reputable and known but still very cozy and slackful. consider registering and joining in, perhaps.

linkswise, for me, http://cryptogon.com stands out.
http://crytome.org likewise and http://wikileaks.org/ even more.
wertz From: wertz Date: March 13th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: the agonist

I know The Agonist, but haven't been there in a while, and WIkileaks is great - but I'm unfamiliar with Cryptogon and Cryptome - thanks for mentioning them.

Edited at 2009-03-13 06:39 pm (UTC)
zuma From: zuma Date: March 14th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC) (link)

that's right, i missed the p!

funny! i mistyped http://cryptome.org but you got it right and added the p.
wertz From: wertz Date: March 14th, 2009 03:25 am (UTC) (link)

Re: that's right, i missed the p!

Heh, yeah - didn't take long to figure it out.  :)
the_grab From: the_grab Date: March 13th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC) (link)
I wonder if Glenn Beck added "10. All humans are equal - but some humans are more equal than others" that anyone would notice.
wertz From: wertz Date: March 13th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC) (link)
Some would - but not enough.
seanmonster From: seanmonster Date: March 14th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC) (link)
I'm surrounded by these fuckwits on a daily basis. But I guess that's what I get for living in Kentucky.
wertz From: wertz Date: March 14th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC) (link)
I'm surrounded by enough of them in central Pennsylvania, a few hours north of the Mason-Dixon line (and have come across enough of them in New York City). Fuckwittery, it seems, knows no boundaries. I think it's what one gets for living in America...
12 others have so why not generate commentary